Feed your network, feed your soul

A third of all individuals will change industries three or four times in their lifetime. I fall into that statistic. My career path has taken me from agriculture to higher education to corporate America and eventually into diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging. Every shift happened because of the network that surrounded me. My network did not appear magically. It grew because I nurtured it consistently, and that investment returned to me at moments when I needed it most.

I often say that if you feed your network, your network will feed you. The reverse is also true. If you never pour into your network, you cannot expect it to pour into you during a moment of need. A relationship cannot grow without intention. A community cannot thrive without nourishment. A network cannot function without reciprocity.

My First Career: A Life Rooted in the Land

My career began on a farm. I earned a bachelor’s degree in agriculture science and believed I would spend my life running our family farm. I envisioned a life working the land, caring for animals, and being part of a multigenerational legacy. Then, during college, our family farm closed. The future I expected evaporated. Even in that moment, I believed I would still build a career in agriculture, perhaps supporting other family farms that were struggling to survive.

As graduation approached, I realized that agriculture would not bring me the success and joy that I needed in my life. I made my first significant career shift and pursued a master’s degree in higher education. I spent several years working in student affairs, developing student leaders and building programs that helped others grow. Then the economy collapsed between 2008 and 2010. I lost my job. I moved back in with my parents. I felt unmoored and unsure of the path ahead.

This period became the foundation for understanding the true power of networking. I did not yet have the language for it, though I began to understand what it meant to ask for help, to receive guidance, and to connect with people who wanted to support me.

Your Cup Must Be Full Before You Fill Someone Else’s

Through each stage of my career, I developed a philosophy that grounds everything I believe about relationships. You cannot pour from an empty cup. When my cup is full, I have the emotional, mental, and physical capacity to give to others. When my cup is empty, I cannot show up in the way that people deserve.

I also believe that if I expect someone to pour into my cup, then I must have been pouring into theirs already. My network fed me during critical moments because I had fed it consistently. I had shown up. I had given time, energy, and care long before I needed anything in return.

The idea of a full cup is simple. If I pour into your cup and you pour into mine, then we both remain full. When the moment arrives when one of us needs more, the other has enough to give. This is the heart of reciprocal connection. This is the soul of a strong network.

When Everything Changed in a Single Day

One of the clearest examples of this philosophy unfolded while I was working in a staffing agency. I had taken the job as a doorway into HR. I learned very quickly that agency recruiting was not the right fit for me. My colleagues possessed skills that I admired, though they were not the skills that aligned with who I was or how I worked best.

One Monday morning, while driving to work, I spoke with someone in my network and admitted that I needed to create an exit strategy. I knew that the role was not sustainable for me. When I arrived at the office that morning, I learned that it would be my last day. The decision made sense. I was not successful in the role, and I was not enjoying it.

I texted the person I had spoken with earlier and wrote, “We need to accelerate the plan. Today is my last day.”

By 1:00 PM, I had an interview. My network responded immediately because I had already poured into their cups over time. They were ready to pour into mine when I needed it.

A Week That Redefined My Life

The interview was for a temporary role in lower Fairfield County, Connecticut. At the time, I lived nearly two hours away in a part of the state with very few opportunities for early career HR professionals. During the phone screen, the recruiter asked if I could be onsite five days a week in Stamford. I said yes. They asked again. I repeated yes. I told them I had a plan. I did not.

They invited me for an in-person interview the next day. I said yes again. After the interview, while still in the area, I attended a networking event that I had been to several times before. While I was there, I received the job offer and they asked if I could start on Thursday. I said yes without hesitation.

I had no place to live. I posted on Facebook asking if anyone had a spare room or a couch that I could use while I searched for an apartment. A friend responded that her mother-in-law had a room available. She welcomed me without hesitation and without charging rent.

I spent my evenings searching for an apartment, found one quickly, and the landlord agreed to rent to me even though the job was temporary. When I told my mother that I planned to move to Stamford for a role that might end in a few months, she thought I was taking a significant risk. She still told me to go and try.

That decision changed my entire life. Stamford placed me in proximity to opportunity. That temporary role led to my first job in New York City. Every step was a direct result of the people who showed up for me.

My Life Stage Today: An Entrepreneur Who Needs the Network Even More

Today, I am an entrepreneur. I own my own consulting company. The stakes are different now. For years, people could support me by recommending me for jobs, advocating for me within their organizations, or connecting me to opportunities where someone else would ultimately employ me. That was a type of networking that felt comfortable for many people. It required no financial investment. It required no shift in the power dynamic.

Now, when I ask my network to support me, I am asking them to hire me. I am asking them to bring me in as a consultant, trainer, speaker, or advisor. I am asking them to pay me for my expertise. This is a different level of vulnerability. It is also a different level of trust.

This stage of my life proves exactly why you must constantly feed your network. If you only take, the food eventually runs out. If you only ask people to pour into your cup, they will eventually run dry. I know that I must be even more intentional now. I must keep pouring into others. I must continue nourishing relationships with care, generosity, and authenticity.

I am profoundly grateful for the people who have supported me through every career transition. Now that I have made the ultimate shift into entrepreneurship, I see the long-term impact of the investment I made. I did not only lay a foundation. I built a house. This house holds me up. This house keeps me steady. This house feeds me as I step into a future that I am building one relationship at a time.

Feed Your Network With Intention

Feeding your network is not about transactional interaction. It is about nurturing relationships through genuine human connection. It is about listening with care, sharing knowledge freely, offering support without expectation, and investing in people with intention.

A network is a living ecosystem. It needs nourishment. It needs reciprocity. It needs authenticity.

When you feed your network, your network gains the strength to feed you. When your cup is full, you have the capacity to fill someone else’s. When you pour into others, they eventually have enough to pour back into you. My life is a testament to this truth. Every opportunity, every leap, and every transition was made possible because of people whose cups were full and who chose to share some of what they had with me.

Reflection Invitation

As you reflect on this chapter, I invite you to consider your own relationship with networking, connection, and reciprocity. The story I shared is one rooted in lived experience. Your story will be shaped by your own community, your own needs, and your own path. Take a moment to explore the following questions with honesty and curiosity. There are no right answers, only opportunities for greater clarity.

Who has poured into your cup over the course of your life and career?

Think about the individuals who offered support, encouragement, advocacy, or opportunity. Consider why their actions mattered and how their investment shaped your journey.

Whose cups have you poured into, and how intentional have you been in that process?

Reflect on relationships where you have given your time, energy, or care. Notice whether your contributions were consistent, generous, or grounded in genuine connection.

What does it mean for you to have a full cup today?

Identify what fills you emotionally, mentally, and physically. Explore how you can build practices that allow you to be nourished so you can show up for others in meaningful ways.

Where do you need to invest more care, more presence, or more attention in your network?

Consider the individuals who matter to you, both personally and professionally. Acknowledge where you may need to rebuild, reconnect, or recommit to relationships that have supported your growth.

How are you preparing your network to support you when you need it most?

Your network cannot pour into you if their cups are empty. Think about how you might contribute to their fullness so that reciprocity becomes a natural part of your shared connection.

Allow these reflections to guide you as you move through your own transitions and transformations. When you feed your network with intention and authenticity, you create the conditions for a community that sustains you, supports you, and travels with you through every stage of your journey.